Recovering From a Morale Buster
by WereDragon EX
Summary: Following a devastating loss, perhaps the best cure for the depression is to mull it over and have the support of others. Ash's POV. Occurs during DP133.


Disclaimer: Pokemon is owned by Satoshi Tajiri.

_Italics: Thoughts_

* * *

"Try not to become a man of success but a man of value." – Albert Einstein

_How could I have let this happen?_

_M-My Pokemon… They put their absolute trust in me…_

_And I-I failed them._

_Those ten days of hard work… I sincerely thought we would beat him this time._

_Were our efforts all for nothing?!_

_Was I wrong? T-This is all my fault…_

_I-I put m-my selfish desire to win above the n-needs of my Pokemon._

_And look where it got us._

_He left with all the glory. Look who the goats are._

_What can I do? My Pokemon must really h-hate me._

Lying on the grass outside the Pokemon Centre, all I could think about was my loss to my rival Paul yesterday. You know, the one who would do anything it takes to gain victory, even abusing his Pokemon. I really thought we would win this time after five previous battles resulted in a win for me, two draws, and two losses.

Ok, looks like I have to admit it. My one "win" against Paul wasn't even a proper battle. It was in a PokeRinger contest. If I am foolish enough to believe I had beaten Paul because of that, I must be the most desperate trainer on the planet. I didn't even have to knock out his Pokemon, just get a ring around a post.

All I can think about now are memories of my latest battle. It still is heart wrenching to see all my Pokemon get knocked out one by one because of Paul's overwhelming strength. How can I recover from a lost like this?! After not being able to beat Paul in a proper battle, my desire to win this time was too much for even me.

I let Grotle fight Honchkrow because I wanted to fulfill his wish of revenge against the Big Boss Pokemon, after Grotle lost to it in a previous battle. Look where that got me. HE HAD A TYPE DISADVANTAGE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I kept Buizel out for too long and didn't let him rest because he assured me that he was fine. I should have seen the signs that he was tiring. I pushed Staraptor, Gliscor, and Pikachu to their limits and they were quickly knocked out. I refused to throw in the towel when I only had one Pokemon left. Chimchar may have evolved, but I was a fool to think he could still take on four Pokemon and win. When he was unable to attack Paul's Electabuzz because of paralysis, I was furious.

I must have lost the trust of my Pokemon and my beliefs as a Trainer. Heck, I was even starting to act like Paul. I found it harder and harder to congratulate my Pokemon on their efforts as they fainted, and I pushed the ones that were still standing until they fell where they stood. If my Pokemon turn their backs on me, I honestly don't blame them.

The memories of the battle still persist in coming, taunting me of my failure, and reminding me that Paul still stands triumphant against me. No matter how hard I try, I cannot will them away. And still they haunt me.

_Paul…I lost to Paul… Sigh._

Something prompted me to open my eyes, and I was in for a big surprise.

"Pikachu!"

Pikachu gestured in front of me and sure enough, all my other Pokemon were gathered around me, none of them upset over what happened. In fact, they all came to cheer me up, though they quickly dropped due to their exhaustion. I begged them not to overdo it, and came to a revelation, one which I had forgotten amid all this depression.

Witnessing all this team spirit first-hand reminded me of what being a Pokemon Trainer was about: hard work, determination, and the will to bond with Pokemon. I understood immediately. They were all worried about me, but they still believed in me, just like how I still believed in them. They had every reason to be mad at me, but they saw their inner strength coming from our bond. Since they weren't feeling down, I had no reason to be either. In fact, their antics were staring to make me laugh. Deciding that they deserved to see the results of their efforts, I began to address my Pokemon.

"I'm fine now. I'm not feeling sad one little bit. Paul sure is tough, he's got his own way of getting strong, and I've got to admit, he gave it his all, and that's how he got strong in the first place. But hey, we're going to get stronger too. It's not going to be easy though. So, there's only one thing to do. We're going to have to work harder than Paul. And when we meet up with him again, we're going to beat that guy! What do you say, gang?"

Everyone cheered, inspired from my speech, and began to run towards me, knocking me over and smothering me in one big group hug. Who knows? I could die from all this affection.

As we returned to the Pokemon Centre, I reflected on my Pokemon endeavored to cheer me up when I was down, and how I inspired them to keep going amid my time of despair. It still scared me that I almost came close to completely losing my values during that battle, all because I wanted success against Paul. I sincerely thank my Pokemon for helping me to recover those values and their valiant effort in that battle. Though I still had some doubts about how I would do against Paul in future, at least I knew that my Pokemon had my back and would stay by my side. When we meet Paul again, perhaps the seventh time will be the charm.

* * *

Author's Notes: Well, there you have it. I finally finished my second story. I decided to write about the scene of Ash lying on the grass in more detail, since the only hints we get with what's going on in his head is a short flashback montage which basically summarized the battle. I tried to convey some of the emotion Ash might be feeling by having his morale busted in such a devastating manner. It can indeed be hard to muster up the strength to carry on after an incident like that. The first part of the story consists of segments of disjointed thoughts, designed to replicate the shock one might feel from the initial disbelief of an event like this. Once a person gets his thoughts together, they tend to become more streamlined and coherent, as I tried to demonstrate. I also made a reference to the fact that some users on Bulbapedia are starting to keep a tally of Ash's battle record with Paul. Consensus as to whether or not the PokeRinger contest in DP118 counts as a fifth battle and a win for Ash tends to be a topic of fierce debate. The point is mainly supported by those who wish to see a "win" for Ash, so his record doesn't look as bad. Counting the PokeRinger contest, Ash win-loss-draw record against Paul is 1-3-2, so I can understand why some would want to see the number on the left padded out a bit more. Notwithstanding, Paul is probably the most successful rival in the anime, since I don't think anyone else has a record like that against Ash. I am indeed looking forward to Ash's seventh (sixth proper) battle against Paul. I seem to have made Ash do a complete 180 when he was comforted by his Pokemon, but that's the way the anime depicted it as well. I hope you enjoyed the story. Constructive criticism is welcome, but flames will be deleted.


End file.
